What do fear and love have to do with selling? This scripture helps provide context: “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Matthew 10:16
Behold, I send you out as sheep…
Sheep are completely defenseless. They are easily overtaken by wolves, a strong foe that is always looking for an easy target. Sometimes salespeople feel like defenseless sheep that have to venture into that dark forest full of wolves called the marketplace, where they feel like prey.
Therefore be wise as serpents…
This means being cautious and clever enough to not be harmed or do harm as you interact with those who care about themselves more than they care about your well-being. Under pressure it’s hard to stand your ground and not accept terms and conditions that are not good for you.
…and innocent as doves.
This means being gentle, considerate, discerning and careful not to harm others. When we are attacked, it is challenging not to become defensive and fight back. Here Jesus encourages us to take the lead to respond with kindness even when we feel threatened.
In short, don’t allow others to hurt you, and don’t hurt others. To state this in the affirmative, protect yourself from harm by not accepting things that are not good for you, and protect others from being harmed by watching out for their best interest. Do both, at the same time. Jesus modeled how to do this as he taught his disciples—businessmen and professionals—how to minister in the marketplace.
Fear causes us to react out of instinct – to fight, flight, freeze or appease– which often damages relationships instead of strengthening them. Love puts instinct aside in pursuit of a better option, one that builds up instead of tearing down. Love adds to the relationship instead of subtracting from it. Love seeks mutual benefit instead of having to win at any cost.
Choosing to put fear aside in order to facilitate a better relationship is an act of love. From that position of love, we naturally desire and take actions that help assure the best outcome for both parties. And the beauty of it is that by protecting the other person, whether stranger or friend, we end up receiving the best outcome for ourselves too.
How can you shift the way you communicate to foster better relationships? Pick one concrete action you can take and commit to doing it today.